5K here I come...

I ran 3.2 miles straight last night, which for some reason felt like a lifetime more than the 3 mile route have been running since I started about 6 weeks ago. I ran at LaFortune Park and even though it was a hard run, I actually really enjoyed it. There are SO many runners there that I am sure are like me and making it a stop on their way home after work. It was encouraging for me to keep going as I saw how many people were doing the same thing. The Tulsa Run is Saturday and will be me first official 5K, I am a little nervous and alot excited.

i want to be...

Last night was my first night to sleep in my new apartment. Thankfully I had my sister there to kind of ease the transition. I hate this stage of being in limbo between places, and I feel like that in so many areas of my life right now. My apartment is not in order, organized or decorated. I just moved offices and my new one is a complete disaster till my furniture comes in next week. I have so many ideas and projects I want to complete, but either don't know exactly how to tackle them from a technical standpoint or simply become overwhelmed with the massive "to-do" list in my head between everything that is going on.

Even in the midst of chaos that seems to be engulfing my spirit, I feel myself become more centered. More in tune with who I am, what I want and what I deserve. For so long I have been trying to be perfect for other people to love me, and recently I have found myself realizing that I don't need to work for love. I am already in the deepest relationship I will ever be in in life with my Lord Jesus Christ. That I am a beautiful creation with so much potential and am always covered by the greatest love that man will ever know, and for me to work at receiving love from a mortal standpoint and spending so much time and energy for approval and affection, is really just ridiculous. That that time and energy should be spent in genuine love given through Christ to others, not working at getting it from others, which until recently I have realized are two totally different things.

I want to be a leader. I want to be inspired and inspiring. I want to be whole. I want to explore all that Christ is and know and feel him everyday. I want to be all around healthy. I want to help and challenge others. I want a peaceful heart. I want an eternal mindset. I want to know the balance between loving myself first without selfishness. I want to be rested. I want to be alive. I want to live passion. I want to follow him and in turn be "a leader worth following" (Doug Franklin).

little graphic projects by me...

A few things I have been working on lately...

Tulsa Tech Hoodie Competition: 2 color image on black hoodie


Fun with Brushes


2 photos I took on a drive to Fairfax that inspired me

transitions...

I am approaching a new "season of life" I guess you could say. I am not the biggest fan of change in general, even when it is for the best in my life. For example, I have cried when packing up every place I have ever lived in (which is 8 times in the past 5 years). It's like right when I get comfortable in my situation something comes along my path to make it change. I am aware that life is ever changing, and that things, people, relationships, friends are ever changing. Sometimes those changes are great, because they are growing into a deeper level filled with higher commitment, greater responsibility, which in turn becomes a wonderful safety and when true fellowship is formed. And sometimes it goes the other way, when things slowly fade for different reasons, being geographically, emotionally, time constraints, work, etc. And if they never got to that deeper bond, the growing apart phase is inevitable to come.

I went to Dallas this last weekend to see old friends that I have been blessed with that deeper bond that external reasons for breaking relationships apart will never do. I love that I have those people in life that when I see them my heart is set at ease, and they can see in my eyes anything that I am going through. I long for these relationships in my current situation that I can grow in day to day.

Any and all prayers in my moving process would so highly appreciated. Prayers for the right place, right location, and mostly for my heart and mind as I impend on this new stage in my life. That my relationship with Christ is strengthened, and that my soul comes to a place that relies on him alone for my strength, independence, and self worth.

For so long I have thought I was ready to be married, and isn't till now that I have realized I am not ready for that at all. That I need to be secure in who I am without the approval of anyone but God's alone. That my life alone is stable, happy and glorifying to God, and that to be with someone else is to better his kingdom together as one.

If I could keep my mind and heart focused on these things at all times. The truth will make this transition much easier because I am not doing it for anyone else but myself and God. But Satan and his power of questioning, self-doubt, and making me feel that need someone else for my own self worth is ridiculous, yet still there. My prayer is that I keep my heart and mind away from him and focused on what is real.

moving out to follow him...

I ran my first 3 miles straight last night!!! It felt amazing! The hills are what get me, but besides that I am loving being able to go longer and farther. Dustin got me an awesome bike for our 1 year anniverary last week, so now we will be riding bikes to cross train on our off days for running. I didn't realize how expensive bikes can get! It is freakin' ridiculous.. 6-7 THOUSAND for a bike! Not a motorcycle...a bicycle! I obviously didn't get one of those, but mine is really nice! It is a 2009 Fuji Road Bike and it is pink! He got the tires switched to road tires so I can keep up with him. And then I got a pink helmet, pink waterbottle holder, and black and pink pouch. I love it, and I especially love this new life we have started together. That is being healthy, working out, reading, going to church, eating right. It is amazing what little changes can do to the big picture of your everyday.

On a larger note, I will be moving out soon. Those close to me know it has been my heart for awhile now, but the time has come that he has realized what needs to happen too. I guess prayers for a long time have been answered as I needed that extra push to do what is right. It is going to be so hard, and to be honest it would not be my preferred situation. One of my favorite songs of all times is "If you want me to" by Ginny Owens, and one of the lines in the song says:

"This may not be the way I would have chose it.
When you lead me through this world that's not my home.
But you never said it would be easy.
You only said I'd never go alone."

I need to keep in mind that God is first, and that his desires for my life are the right ones, because he has the master plan and I need to be obedient to follow and trust in him alone.

Krystle and Harrison's Engagement Pics...

We had a family trip in August to Destin, Florida, which is where I took my sister Krystle and her fiance Harrison's Engagement Pics. We got there 30 minutes too late and only got the last 5 minutes of sunset : ( But other than that, and after some editing, and deleting tons of pics where Harrison is making all his funny faces...I think they turned out pretty good!



Peace. Love. Visvas.

Run Jenna Run...

So last week I started running! For many different reasons, but I will just copy and paste the gist of my beginning that I wrote about in a forum on RunningAhead.com. (An amazing site for all runners, beginning to way advanced).

Hi! My name is Jenna and I am 23 yrs old and new to running! I played sports all my life and would consider myself a pretty athletic person, even though I have always hated running! Trying to keep a good workout regimen to stay in shape after having it mandatory daily in high school has been a very up and down road for me. I would go through periods during and after college where I would go to the gym consistently for a couple weeks to a month, and then would slowly go back to not working out at all. My goals for working out in the past have always been to lose weight, for I have had a constant struggle with weight issues all my life.

It has been in the past few weeks that I have really noticed all the people that I know that are "runners", how all of those people are people I look up to and are motivated by not only because of their running endurance, but because of how they look life, treat people, and mostly treat themselves. You can tell a major difference in those that are run on a consistant basis, and the thing is they are just people like you and me! You see the stories of people that were extremely obese and took up running and it completely changes their life. If they can do it, and the people I know personally can do it...then heck, why aren't I!

So after at that lengthy intro..I am going to do this! But I know myself and I know how have been in the past..extremely motivated for a short while and it fades. So my question to the "seasoned runners" is, how do you do it?!? How do you stay motivated to make it part of your life...for life?! What advice would you give a newbie like me to stick to it when I feel that 5 miles straight could never be in my future because I can't even run half that now!? I am super excited to start this life change, and appreciate and take in any and all encouragement I can get!

I got some amazing advice from people that have been running for years. Here a couple of my favorite pieces of advice:

1) If you are serious about this, you NEED to make this second nature. Once running is optional it is easy to skip it and say you are too busy. If you schedule your workout daily (and the timing can vary), then schedule your other stuff around it, it becomes an afterthought to do the workout and a part of your life. Otherwise it is just to easy to do what you've described happing in your pace, which is gradually phase it out. -Spaniel

Many people encouraged joining a running club, but for right now I have learned that I really enjoy running by myself. I get intimidated by those who run faster, and being last in a group because I am so new to running would discourage me rather than encourage me. I think it must be a personality flaw of my uber-competitiveness. People also encouraged me to start on a C25K program (Couch to 5K), but it starts off really slow, and it is all timed running vs walking...which I guess is good for some people..but I like to listen to my body, push myself when I can, and progress at my own pace. And so far that is working really well for me! I ran my 1st mile and half straight yesterday! The website has a running/training log that graphs and shows your progress. That really encourages me to see how much I have done by the end of the week, and to make sure I am updating it! I think there is a way to link it to my blog, so I am going to try and do that.

Ok, off from Running now... today in class I was in such admiration of one of my classmates. As I think I have blogged about, I am in school part-time again for web-design and 90% of the school are High School students that are bussed in. It is wierd being in this type of environment again, but I actually really enjoy it. Well there a couple kids, who honestly I think are hilarious most of the time...but then after 10 min later you are like oh my gosh shut up! haha. Well anyways, today they were joking about I guess some website and kept going "Buddy Christ, Buddy Christ", and this guy goes "Hey, how about you guys stop that seriously. It is offensive. I am up for all your other jokes, but seriously stop that". If it had been any other student, they probably would have made a joke about it, but this guy is a true example of what I think a Christian with impact on the world is. He is super nice to everyone, and doesn't push his views or constantly talk about it to where it is annoying to those who aren't Christian. By his attitude, demeanor, the way he treats people, and can relate to every single person in their own way, makes it to where there is no way you could not have complete respect for anything he says. I really admire the way he makes an impact for the Lord everyday without making anyone feel uncomfortable about it. I probably didn't get this story across as powerful as the moment was today, but it really made me an impact not only on me, but on the entire class..which I think is awesome.

P.S. I am super excited for Dallas this weekend! Yay!

Peace. Love. Visvas.