transitions...

I am approaching a new "season of life" I guess you could say. I am not the biggest fan of change in general, even when it is for the best in my life. For example, I have cried when packing up every place I have ever lived in (which is 8 times in the past 5 years). It's like right when I get comfortable in my situation something comes along my path to make it change. I am aware that life is ever changing, and that things, people, relationships, friends are ever changing. Sometimes those changes are great, because they are growing into a deeper level filled with higher commitment, greater responsibility, which in turn becomes a wonderful safety and when true fellowship is formed. And sometimes it goes the other way, when things slowly fade for different reasons, being geographically, emotionally, time constraints, work, etc. And if they never got to that deeper bond, the growing apart phase is inevitable to come.

I went to Dallas this last weekend to see old friends that I have been blessed with that deeper bond that external reasons for breaking relationships apart will never do. I love that I have those people in life that when I see them my heart is set at ease, and they can see in my eyes anything that I am going through. I long for these relationships in my current situation that I can grow in day to day.

Any and all prayers in my moving process would so highly appreciated. Prayers for the right place, right location, and mostly for my heart and mind as I impend on this new stage in my life. That my relationship with Christ is strengthened, and that my soul comes to a place that relies on him alone for my strength, independence, and self worth.

For so long I have thought I was ready to be married, and isn't till now that I have realized I am not ready for that at all. That I need to be secure in who I am without the approval of anyone but God's alone. That my life alone is stable, happy and glorifying to God, and that to be with someone else is to better his kingdom together as one.

If I could keep my mind and heart focused on these things at all times. The truth will make this transition much easier because I am not doing it for anyone else but myself and God. But Satan and his power of questioning, self-doubt, and making me feel that need someone else for my own self worth is ridiculous, yet still there. My prayer is that I keep my heart and mind away from him and focused on what is real.