Focus on those things that are true, noble, just, pure and lovely in a time of harsh reality.

So it has been a long time since I have posted... I actually have been doing a ton of writing the past few months, but going through some challenging times that I felt needed to be dealt with on a personal level. It is wierd how it feels ok to easily divulge details of exciting growth and changes or deal with hardships through an inadverdant standpoint to self medicate through writing... but true heartache hurts to put out there. Almost embarrasing in a way. It is funny that a year ago I had written a blog or diary entry somewhere about how much my life changed in a year...how amazing it was, how much growth and blessings had come into my life. Never in a million years would I have seen myself in this spot another year later. Just another humbling stage that God has better plans then the ones I had in my head a year ago for me at this point. I am in a great spot now, probably one of the most all around healthy spots in my life... but that pain is still there. The emptiness that a best friend once filled, the void of inside jokes and laughter, the absence of physical presence and comfort everday day and night. Questions that will never be answered, a new family abruptly taken away, and watching love dissolve infront of your eyes...all pretty life changing things. But while those things hurt deeply, and dealing with the fact that the person you would give anything to make smile, chooses daily to choose live a life apart from you in it... it is reality, and reality when faced head on can sometimes be too harsh to truly admit and or face.

I am so proud of myself though. I have proven to myself that I am so much stronger than I could have ever imagined. I am doing things I feel called to do, I am finding my independence and satisfaction through God alone. I am focusing on those things that are true, those things that are noble, things are just, pure, and lovely. Sure there have been those few moments self-doubt and insecurity, but easily drowned out by the audible personal growth and achievement I have made. The path is narrow, and few will find it... and I will search it out and continue full heartedly.

living water international...

http://www.water.cc/.water.cc/

Above is a link to a company called Living Water International. I have an aquaintance from college that works for them and remember coming across their website in the past and being very intrigued and impressed with what they do. This weekend at the Women of Faith conference in OKC they showed a video from World Vision that was extremely touching. It showed that every 15 seconds a child dies from unclean drinking water. That children walk 5 miles to get water that is the color of dirt and walk 5 miles back to their community. It breaks my heart that something that is such a neccessity to life and something so plentiful to us in the United States, is so scarce and so unpure that the little amount others can find is actually killing them. Below are some pictures from the website...

So for months I have been praying about going on a short term mission trip. I think getting out of the US to live and serve those who are far less fortunate is such an amazing experience to truly be humbled, thankful, and truly open our minds and hearts to God's plan in our life. Serving others is one of the greatest gift God has given to us. So I have been praying, searching, and keeping my eyes and ears open to God's calling.

Last night I was watching Extreme Home Makeover (which by the way is a great way to end your weekend and start your week). It is always so touching, and this episode especially got to me. A family went on a short term mission trip to Haiti, and despite their tiny house, they saw the needs and potential of several young boys in the orphange which they working in and adopted them. They also adopted a 2 inner city kids from the city in which they lived. Together their family consisted of 13 people, 11 of them pre-teen to teenage boys. God Bless them. The show gave some information on the desparate need in Haiti, and the boys that were adopted were so thankful to be here to get an education and move back to help their country.

So while many would say it is coincidence, I believe God is working. This morning I looked up Living Water International with the purpose of sending the website to the women that went to the Women of Faith conference. I saw do alot of work in Haiti as well! My heart jumped when I saw they have opportunities to join them and help serve the countries (like Haiti) and help drill water pumps.

So I am definitely going to be praying and researching about this, I don't know what God's plan is yet, but I am extremely excited to be open and available to his calling in my life! But please check out the website and see the ways you can help!

5K here I come...

I ran 3.2 miles straight last night, which for some reason felt like a lifetime more than the 3 mile route have been running since I started about 6 weeks ago. I ran at LaFortune Park and even though it was a hard run, I actually really enjoyed it. There are SO many runners there that I am sure are like me and making it a stop on their way home after work. It was encouraging for me to keep going as I saw how many people were doing the same thing. The Tulsa Run is Saturday and will be me first official 5K, I am a little nervous and alot excited.

i want to be...

Last night was my first night to sleep in my new apartment. Thankfully I had my sister there to kind of ease the transition. I hate this stage of being in limbo between places, and I feel like that in so many areas of my life right now. My apartment is not in order, organized or decorated. I just moved offices and my new one is a complete disaster till my furniture comes in next week. I have so many ideas and projects I want to complete, but either don't know exactly how to tackle them from a technical standpoint or simply become overwhelmed with the massive "to-do" list in my head between everything that is going on.

Even in the midst of chaos that seems to be engulfing my spirit, I feel myself become more centered. More in tune with who I am, what I want and what I deserve. For so long I have been trying to be perfect for other people to love me, and recently I have found myself realizing that I don't need to work for love. I am already in the deepest relationship I will ever be in in life with my Lord Jesus Christ. That I am a beautiful creation with so much potential and am always covered by the greatest love that man will ever know, and for me to work at receiving love from a mortal standpoint and spending so much time and energy for approval and affection, is really just ridiculous. That that time and energy should be spent in genuine love given through Christ to others, not working at getting it from others, which until recently I have realized are two totally different things.

I want to be a leader. I want to be inspired and inspiring. I want to be whole. I want to explore all that Christ is and know and feel him everyday. I want to be all around healthy. I want to help and challenge others. I want a peaceful heart. I want an eternal mindset. I want to know the balance between loving myself first without selfishness. I want to be rested. I want to be alive. I want to live passion. I want to follow him and in turn be "a leader worth following" (Doug Franklin).

little graphic projects by me...

A few things I have been working on lately...

Tulsa Tech Hoodie Competition: 2 color image on black hoodie


Fun with Brushes


2 photos I took on a drive to Fairfax that inspired me

transitions...

I am approaching a new "season of life" I guess you could say. I am not the biggest fan of change in general, even when it is for the best in my life. For example, I have cried when packing up every place I have ever lived in (which is 8 times in the past 5 years). It's like right when I get comfortable in my situation something comes along my path to make it change. I am aware that life is ever changing, and that things, people, relationships, friends are ever changing. Sometimes those changes are great, because they are growing into a deeper level filled with higher commitment, greater responsibility, which in turn becomes a wonderful safety and when true fellowship is formed. And sometimes it goes the other way, when things slowly fade for different reasons, being geographically, emotionally, time constraints, work, etc. And if they never got to that deeper bond, the growing apart phase is inevitable to come.

I went to Dallas this last weekend to see old friends that I have been blessed with that deeper bond that external reasons for breaking relationships apart will never do. I love that I have those people in life that when I see them my heart is set at ease, and they can see in my eyes anything that I am going through. I long for these relationships in my current situation that I can grow in day to day.

Any and all prayers in my moving process would so highly appreciated. Prayers for the right place, right location, and mostly for my heart and mind as I impend on this new stage in my life. That my relationship with Christ is strengthened, and that my soul comes to a place that relies on him alone for my strength, independence, and self worth.

For so long I have thought I was ready to be married, and isn't till now that I have realized I am not ready for that at all. That I need to be secure in who I am without the approval of anyone but God's alone. That my life alone is stable, happy and glorifying to God, and that to be with someone else is to better his kingdom together as one.

If I could keep my mind and heart focused on these things at all times. The truth will make this transition much easier because I am not doing it for anyone else but myself and God. But Satan and his power of questioning, self-doubt, and making me feel that need someone else for my own self worth is ridiculous, yet still there. My prayer is that I keep my heart and mind away from him and focused on what is real.

moving out to follow him...

I ran my first 3 miles straight last night!!! It felt amazing! The hills are what get me, but besides that I am loving being able to go longer and farther. Dustin got me an awesome bike for our 1 year anniverary last week, so now we will be riding bikes to cross train on our off days for running. I didn't realize how expensive bikes can get! It is freakin' ridiculous.. 6-7 THOUSAND for a bike! Not a motorcycle...a bicycle! I obviously didn't get one of those, but mine is really nice! It is a 2009 Fuji Road Bike and it is pink! He got the tires switched to road tires so I can keep up with him. And then I got a pink helmet, pink waterbottle holder, and black and pink pouch. I love it, and I especially love this new life we have started together. That is being healthy, working out, reading, going to church, eating right. It is amazing what little changes can do to the big picture of your everyday.

On a larger note, I will be moving out soon. Those close to me know it has been my heart for awhile now, but the time has come that he has realized what needs to happen too. I guess prayers for a long time have been answered as I needed that extra push to do what is right. It is going to be so hard, and to be honest it would not be my preferred situation. One of my favorite songs of all times is "If you want me to" by Ginny Owens, and one of the lines in the song says:

"This may not be the way I would have chose it.
When you lead me through this world that's not my home.
But you never said it would be easy.
You only said I'd never go alone."

I need to keep in mind that God is first, and that his desires for my life are the right ones, because he has the master plan and I need to be obedient to follow and trust in him alone.

Krystle and Harrison's Engagement Pics...

We had a family trip in August to Destin, Florida, which is where I took my sister Krystle and her fiance Harrison's Engagement Pics. We got there 30 minutes too late and only got the last 5 minutes of sunset : ( But other than that, and after some editing, and deleting tons of pics where Harrison is making all his funny faces...I think they turned out pretty good!



Peace. Love. Visvas.

Run Jenna Run...

So last week I started running! For many different reasons, but I will just copy and paste the gist of my beginning that I wrote about in a forum on RunningAhead.com. (An amazing site for all runners, beginning to way advanced).

Hi! My name is Jenna and I am 23 yrs old and new to running! I played sports all my life and would consider myself a pretty athletic person, even though I have always hated running! Trying to keep a good workout regimen to stay in shape after having it mandatory daily in high school has been a very up and down road for me. I would go through periods during and after college where I would go to the gym consistently for a couple weeks to a month, and then would slowly go back to not working out at all. My goals for working out in the past have always been to lose weight, for I have had a constant struggle with weight issues all my life.

It has been in the past few weeks that I have really noticed all the people that I know that are "runners", how all of those people are people I look up to and are motivated by not only because of their running endurance, but because of how they look life, treat people, and mostly treat themselves. You can tell a major difference in those that are run on a consistant basis, and the thing is they are just people like you and me! You see the stories of people that were extremely obese and took up running and it completely changes their life. If they can do it, and the people I know personally can do it...then heck, why aren't I!

So after at that lengthy intro..I am going to do this! But I know myself and I know how have been in the past..extremely motivated for a short while and it fades. So my question to the "seasoned runners" is, how do you do it?!? How do you stay motivated to make it part of your life...for life?! What advice would you give a newbie like me to stick to it when I feel that 5 miles straight could never be in my future because I can't even run half that now!? I am super excited to start this life change, and appreciate and take in any and all encouragement I can get!

I got some amazing advice from people that have been running for years. Here a couple of my favorite pieces of advice:

1) If you are serious about this, you NEED to make this second nature. Once running is optional it is easy to skip it and say you are too busy. If you schedule your workout daily (and the timing can vary), then schedule your other stuff around it, it becomes an afterthought to do the workout and a part of your life. Otherwise it is just to easy to do what you've described happing in your pace, which is gradually phase it out. -Spaniel

Many people encouraged joining a running club, but for right now I have learned that I really enjoy running by myself. I get intimidated by those who run faster, and being last in a group because I am so new to running would discourage me rather than encourage me. I think it must be a personality flaw of my uber-competitiveness. People also encouraged me to start on a C25K program (Couch to 5K), but it starts off really slow, and it is all timed running vs walking...which I guess is good for some people..but I like to listen to my body, push myself when I can, and progress at my own pace. And so far that is working really well for me! I ran my 1st mile and half straight yesterday! The website has a running/training log that graphs and shows your progress. That really encourages me to see how much I have done by the end of the week, and to make sure I am updating it! I think there is a way to link it to my blog, so I am going to try and do that.

Ok, off from Running now... today in class I was in such admiration of one of my classmates. As I think I have blogged about, I am in school part-time again for web-design and 90% of the school are High School students that are bussed in. It is wierd being in this type of environment again, but I actually really enjoy it. Well there a couple kids, who honestly I think are hilarious most of the time...but then after 10 min later you are like oh my gosh shut up! haha. Well anyways, today they were joking about I guess some website and kept going "Buddy Christ, Buddy Christ", and this guy goes "Hey, how about you guys stop that seriously. It is offensive. I am up for all your other jokes, but seriously stop that". If it had been any other student, they probably would have made a joke about it, but this guy is a true example of what I think a Christian with impact on the world is. He is super nice to everyone, and doesn't push his views or constantly talk about it to where it is annoying to those who aren't Christian. By his attitude, demeanor, the way he treats people, and can relate to every single person in their own way, makes it to where there is no way you could not have complete respect for anything he says. I really admire the way he makes an impact for the Lord everyday without making anyone feel uncomfortable about it. I probably didn't get this story across as powerful as the moment was today, but it really made me an impact not only on me, but on the entire class..which I think is awesome.

P.S. I am super excited for Dallas this weekend! Yay!

Peace. Love. Visvas.

Rainy Day.

Today was the first day I felt fall around the corner. It was drizzly, dark and the cold wind reminded me of the beginning of season change that I love so much. It inspired me to finally make my own inspiration board... and hopefully there will be many more to come!

Rainy Day.

Creatively Overwhelmed...

So school has been going great! It is amazing that me...Jennah Liston, loves going to school! It works out really well because I can do alot of my work for Community Partners in class because I go through the lessons extremely fast. It also gives me alot of time to tap into my creative self and look at blogs of other creative inspirations. I get so excited and inspired looking at all these blogs, pictures, design, graphics that I get way overwhelmed. It is really frustrating. I know I have the talent and inspiration to do alot, but when I get started on a project my ADD kicks in double time. There is so much I want to do with my life, my time, my day...and I feel like I have spent way to much time wasting it away.

My cousin is going into her 2nd week in Gana, and I am so proud of her. She is teaching in orphans in a remote village there and will be in Gana for 10 months. There is no electricity, no running water, and very limited communication with any friends and family. It takes a VERY special person to be able to give up that much of their life to serve to a higher calling. I think that it is amazing how God works so strongly in indirect ways that people don't even realize. My cousin went to Gana expecting to impact hearts for the Lord to the people she would encounter on a daily basis, but what she probably didn't expect was the opening of so many hearts back here in the states because of what she is doing. There are always reasons to pray, infact, back in the day praying was living, living was praying, every thought being focused on something higher. But that faded in me as my life fell further away from the truth. Yet now, out of love for my cousin and inspiration for what she is doing, I have been given a reason to pray alot more. I don't know if it is just that, or being inspired by her, but I have been more open to the Lord then I have in years.

Here are my favorite pics she has sent so far from her trip:

Live. Love. Visvas.

Back to School, Back to School...

So I just started school part-time last week and am absolutely LOVING it! It is a Web-Design program that is M-F from 8-11am for two semesters. At the end of the course I will be taking the ACE (Adobe Certfied Expert) test and will hopefully have to get new business cards, to put make myself feel important with initials after my name! haha. It is kind of wierd being in school again, the school is primarily high school students that are bussed in.

We say the Pledge of Allegience every morning, have a moment of silence, the whole sha-bang. But oddly enough, I really enjoy it. I love starting my day like that. If I ever own my business I am going to do the Pledge and moment of silence company wide every morning. It is a small thing, but there is not better way to start your day then honoring your country and taking a moment alone with God to prepare yourself for the day ahead.

So school is great, and work is amazing as well. I am getting to all of my company work in school for all of my projects. My professors are great, and it is going to be such a great resource to have them in my life educationally and professionally. There are so many events and marketing opportunities coming up at Community Partners, it is just such an exciting time!