Today is what you get...

Who would of thought a year ago I would be in this place. I feel like I have written this blog about every year… and it just proves to show that your life is not in your hands, and your best made plans aren’t always the best. Life is an adventure. Meant to be spent, not saved. And while I know this deep in my soul, why do I always search for comfort. Why is change always so hard for me. You would think after moving 10+ times in the past 6 years I would be used to it. Yet every year I am taken on a world wind of events that have me ending up in places I never thought I’d be.

A year ago I was in Destin, FL with my family and my ex. I had a good job, lived in a nice house, was with who I “thought” was the one, and had given in to the fact that I was going to be in Tulsa for the rest of my life. Wow what a year can do. I now sit in an almost empty apartment and can’t sleep at 5am. In this apartment alone I have learned so much about myself. I had a period of strong growth at the beginning, learning I can pick myself up after just about anything and am stronger than I had thought. I have made some of the most amazing friends since I have lived in this apartment, girls who will be lifelong friends. I have found my faith again. Not that it ever left, but it has been strengthened so much as God has shown me what I am capable of through him.

My whole life I have had a “plan” for at least the next couple years in front of me, and when that plan got detoured I always knew I would be here close to my parents. I always knew that whatever happened they were there, my job was there, and financial problems would never be and had never been a issue. I would never in a million years have guessed this is the position we would be in. It is sad, and it is hard, but it all is happening for a reason, and I pray that God keeps shining that light at the end of the tunnel.

I leave for my trip in about a month. Packing up my stuff, moving it to storage and knowing that my family might not even be here when I get back is so strange to me. I am excited to move back to Dallas. I am excited to move back to where I feel is “home”. Yet right now I need to focus on what is in store for me in the next 6 months. I find myself getting way too caught up in trying to plan so far in advance. I think everyone does need to have some sort of plan for their life, but I need to focus more on the present. Not be sad to leave my past, but thoroughly excited to see what God has in store for my life this year!

Look back,
but not for too long.
Look forward,
but with an open mind.
Learn from your past,
don't dwell on it.
Be prepared for the future,
but ready for change.
Enjoy now.
Live now.
Today is what you get.