change in plans...

So I am sure many have heard different things of the major changes in my immediate plans. So I thought I would try and catch everyone up to speed...

I had been planning for past several months to leave in early September for a 6 month mission trip with Youth With a Mission. My prayer from the very beginning was that if this is where God wanted me, then I would trust he would provide financially. I was counting largely on financial contributions from my family, my church, and moved home to save my last 3 paychecks to put towards my trip. Unfortunately the company my Dad, uncle and myself are employed through is struggling financially, resulting in me having to be laid off earlier than expected and finances within my family being very tight. I had filled out an application to be supported financially through my church and they were unable to help because the program I was going with was not an approved agency through the church because members had not had great experiences with YWAM in the past. With my prayer from the beginning being if this is where you want me, then I will trust in you financially... and with all of these roadblocks and not being able to raise the money, I decided to do some research because of the reasons my church gave me. I felt dumb for not seeking counsel first and asking about the program before this point, but am so glad I did earlier rather than later. After speaking with people's who opinion and Godly advice I take dear to heart, I decided that this was not the program or time for me to leave.

So I am now in complete limbo. All of my belongings are in storage, I have no job, but know I want to live in Dallas. I still of a desire to serve, and am talking with the church I will be attending in Dallas about going on a trip with a team from the church. There is a church in Flowermound that I attended when I went home from college that is led by an amazing pastor that I have listend to for years, Matt Chandler. They are opening up a new campus in Dallas and I am so excited to get involved! So I have decided to move to Dallas next week and live with friends while I get my resume and portfolio together, search for jobs, network, and get involved with the new Village church campus. I am SO excited to go "home". I have the most amazing friends there that are really like family and I know that this is the place that I meant to be.

It is crazy how much things can change, but even more proof that our lives are not in our hands. Usually when making big decisions like this I feel anxious and unsure... but the complete peace I have right now in my heart is so calming to know that this is the right decision in my life.

Thank you so much for those that had supported my trip and for the prayers and thoughts.

Decision Making Steps...

It is crazy to think about where I was even a week ago. How quick your whole life can change in a blink of an eye. So many things going through my head, I had to get out for a run just to let them sort themselves out. I was talking to one of my best friends today about how to know where God is leading us. It is a standard question that every Christian asks themselves from time to time. As humans we can't grasp even the smallest bit of the many ways God speaks to us, and we look for signs and try to guess like it is a game of what door God wants us to open. My friend had a great point that we can't look for coincidences and signs to do something or not do it. Signs, coincidences, and ironic turn of events can all be used for good and for evil, yet as long as we are seeking truth his plans for us will prevail. I do believe that God opens and closes doors, and I am trying so hard to prayerfully approach the big decisions I am going to have to make in the next few weeks. I desire to serve him. It is then when I feel the most at peace in my soul. Please pray that I seek truth and not my own will.

I was doing some googling (what a great word), and came across this article in about.com of all places! I am going to read a few more times, I really like the way it puts it all out there and gives verses to meditate on when coming up on big decisions...

Biblical Decision Making Steps

1. Begin with prayer. Frame your attitude into one of trust and obedience as you commit the decision to prayer. There's no reason to be fearful in decision making when you are secure in the knowledge that God has your best interest in mind.

   Jeremiah 29:11
   "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."(NIV)

2. Define the decision. Ask yourself if the decision involves a moral or non-moral area. It is actually a little easier to discern the will of God in moral areas because most of the time you will find clear direction in God's Word. If God has already revealed his will in Scripture, your only response is to obey. Non-moral areas still require the application of biblical principles, however, sometimes the direction is harder to distinguish.

   Psalm 119:105
   Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. (NIV)

3. Be ready to accept and obey God's answer. It's unlikely that God will reveal his plan if he knows already that you won't obey. It is absolutely essential that your will be completely submitted to God's. When your will is humbly and fully submitted to the Master, you can have confidence that he will illuminate your path.

   Proverbs 3:5-6
   Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
   do not depend on your own understanding.
   Seek his will in all you do,
   and he will show you which path to take. (NLT)

4. Exercise faith. Remember too, that decision making is a process that takes time. You may have to resubmit your will over and over again to God throughout the process. Then by faith, which pleases God, trust him with a confident heart that he will reveal his will.

   Hebrews 11:6
   And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (NIV)

5. Seek concrete direction. Begin investigating, evaluating and gathering information. Find out what the Bible says about the situation? Gain practical and personal information that relates to the decision, and begin writing down what you learn.
6. Obtain counsel. In difficult decisions it's wise to get spiritual and practical counsel from the godly leaders in your life. A pastor, elder, parent, or simply a mature believer can often contribute important insight, answer questions, remove doubts and confirm inclinations. Make sure to choose individuals who will offer sound biblical advice and not just say what you want to hear.

   Proverbs 15:22
   Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.(NIV)

7. Make a list. First write down the priorities you believe God would have in your situation. These are not the things that are important to you, but rather the things that are most important to God in this decision. Will the outcome of your decision draw you closer to God? Will it glorify him in your life? How will it impact those around you?
8. Weigh the decision. Make a list of the pros and cons connected with the decision. You may find that something on your list clearly violates the revealed will of God in his Word. If so, you have your answer. This is not his will. If not, then you now have a realistic picture of your options to help you make a responsible decision.
9. Choose your spiritual priorities. By this time you should have enough information to establish your spiritual priorities as they relate to the decision. Ask yourself which decision best satisfies those priorities? If more than one option will fulfill your established priorities, then choose the one which is your strongest desire!

   Sometimes God gives you a choice. In this case there is no right and wrong decision, but rather a freedom from God to choose, based on your preferences. Both options are within God's perfect will for your life and both will lead to the fulfillment of God's purpose for your life.

10. Act on your decision. If you have arrived at your decision with the sincere intention of pleasing the heart of God, incorporating biblical principles and wise counsel, you can proceed with confidence knowing that God will work out his purposes through your decision.

    Romans 8:28
    And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (NIV)

Can't wait for Dallas this weekend.

Today is what you get...

Who would of thought a year ago I would be in this place. I feel like I have written this blog about every year… and it just proves to show that your life is not in your hands, and your best made plans aren’t always the best. Life is an adventure. Meant to be spent, not saved. And while I know this deep in my soul, why do I always search for comfort. Why is change always so hard for me. You would think after moving 10+ times in the past 6 years I would be used to it. Yet every year I am taken on a world wind of events that have me ending up in places I never thought I’d be.

A year ago I was in Destin, FL with my family and my ex. I had a good job, lived in a nice house, was with who I “thought” was the one, and had given in to the fact that I was going to be in Tulsa for the rest of my life. Wow what a year can do. I now sit in an almost empty apartment and can’t sleep at 5am. In this apartment alone I have learned so much about myself. I had a period of strong growth at the beginning, learning I can pick myself up after just about anything and am stronger than I had thought. I have made some of the most amazing friends since I have lived in this apartment, girls who will be lifelong friends. I have found my faith again. Not that it ever left, but it has been strengthened so much as God has shown me what I am capable of through him.

My whole life I have had a “plan” for at least the next couple years in front of me, and when that plan got detoured I always knew I would be here close to my parents. I always knew that whatever happened they were there, my job was there, and financial problems would never be and had never been a issue. I would never in a million years have guessed this is the position we would be in. It is sad, and it is hard, but it all is happening for a reason, and I pray that God keeps shining that light at the end of the tunnel.

I leave for my trip in about a month. Packing up my stuff, moving it to storage and knowing that my family might not even be here when I get back is so strange to me. I am excited to move back to Dallas. I am excited to move back to where I feel is “home”. Yet right now I need to focus on what is in store for me in the next 6 months. I find myself getting way too caught up in trying to plan so far in advance. I think everyone does need to have some sort of plan for their life, but I need to focus more on the present. Not be sad to leave my past, but thoroughly excited to see what God has in store for my life this year!

Look back,
but not for too long.
Look forward,
but with an open mind.
Learn from your past,
don't dwell on it.
Be prepared for the future,
but ready for change.
Enjoy now.
Live now.
Today is what you get.