What a great feeling. What a huge relief. To see him and their not be an ounce of regret, sadness, missing, or feelings of being incomplete. What a great turn my life has taken. I will cherish those times always, but I will cherish them with complete thankfulness of the huge blessing that the Lord took hold of the situation when needed. I truly think time is a blessing and a curse, but sometimes is just all you can wait on till the other feels the same.
There is so much within me, so much passion and so much drive. So much adventure I need to experience. So may places I need to see. If the life I thought I wanted 6 months ago would have panned out, I would have looked back in 5 years with so much regret and remorse. I would most likely end up resenting him, and resentment is not part of the marriage I am meant to have. While the life I thought I wanted wasn't wrong, and isn't not what I want deep inside...because it is. I want to end up in Tulsa. I want to raise a strong Christian family. I want to have friends and family close and be the most amazing Mom I can be... But I have my whole life to do that. But I had that mindset way too early, and I would have settled and continued in a pattern that was not challenging mentally and spiritually, and with someone who wasn't capable of loving me to the extent that I love people.
It was so great to talk to old friends tonight. Their encouraging words meant more than they know. Their genuine friendship and kind souls are one in a million. But as I told them tonight, I am meant to live an exciting life. Filled with passion and adventure, and really take full advantage of the time I have here.
I am just so happy inside. So excited. So alive. So thankful that everything has worked out the way it has!
Monday, March 30, 2009
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